even books

Last Friday night we took part in a curated evening of bedtime stories at Bill+George studios (where our suitcase of books and kitsch panorama pictures live). It was a fundraiser for The Great Wall of Books Project. What’s next, a Pyramid of Giza of Books, or Leaning Tower of Books? Still, we were all for the cause. So we picked a totally inappropriate story and read it without any funny voices. What, we’re not theatre and stage actors! We’re word-loving nerds!

It was a retelling of the poignant adventure Regulate, a 1994 R&B classic by Warren G. and Nate Dogg, with backing glockenspiel refrains. It went a little something like this:

On a cool, clear night (typical to Southern California) Warren G travels through his neighborhood, searching for women with whom he might initiate sexual intercourse. He has chosen to engage in this pursuit alone.

Nate Dogg, having just arrived in the east side of Long Beach, seeks Warren. On his way to find Warren, Nate passes a car full of women who are excited to see him.

Warren makes a left turn at 21st Street and Lewis Ave, in the East Hill/Salt Lake neighborhood, where he sees a group of young men enjoying a game of dice together. He parks his car and greets them. He is excited to find people to play with, but to his chagrin, he discovers they intend to relieve him of his material possessions. Once the hopeful robbers reveal their firearms, Warren realizes he is in a less than favorable predicament …

Full story here.

We also made a colour-in songbook (featuring the original lyrics, which, frankly, were better and more hilarious than the retelling) to go with it. When there’s an opportunity to waste paper, we seize it. The book looked like this, mid-assembly:

And it came with pencils.

If you’d like a copy, you’ll have to suck our cocks first. No, no, a simple holler shall suffice. We’re girls! We don’t even have cocks!

Ahem. While the night was a success, that may be the last time we get asked to perform anything. We’ll just have to stick to staying geeks off the street and being handy with the steal, if you know what we mean.