even books

The other day I had to catch two planes in one day. That’s two more than I’ve caught all year, and I was pretty excited. Not so much about the flying bit - for me that’s mildly scary and occasionally vomit-inducing - but about the ‘excuse to read dodgy books’ bit. I love those airport news agencies that only stock the base-est of base literature. All those crime novels and gore-fests; Mills and Boons and self-help bestsellers. Plus, there’s noone to witness your indulgence except flight crew, who aren’t allowed to ridicule. It’s in their contract, like how psychs can’t dob on you. True fact.

Anyway, this time around I decided on a little number by Californian author Eric Garcia called The Repossession Mambo. It’s set “in the near future” when people live virtually forever due to a huge market in artificial organs. Our main character is a ‘repo’ guy, whose job it is to go out and repossess these organs if people fall behind on their payments. So far so ‘meh’, right? If I was holding that in one hand and Eat Right For Your Cat’s Personality Type in the other, I’d be torn. But I opened it up, just to get a taste, and discovered this, on page one:

“The first time I held a pancreas in my hand, I got an erection.”

Now that’s a first line. The rest of the book was totally shithouse. I skipped multiple pages at once because I was so bored with the protagonist. But that first line! Damn. It’s my favourite of the year. So thanks, Hobart Airport.